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The BBC carried a news item last week about a Crackdown On School Place Cheats. It estimates that approximately 3,500 parents lie each year to secure a place at a school which they would otherwise fall into catchment for. Really – just 3,500? I would never have put it that low.

This is a particular bugbear of mine. We live less than 2 minutes walk from our local primary, but did not get a place, not because there are 59 siblings or children of the same age that live between us and the school, but because there is the little matter of a church nearby. Parents take their children to the church every other week or once a month for year prior to school admission, then the minister signs off their school application. Usually, once the form is signed it is the last the church ever see of them. We see them though, they park outside our house then walk to school because they live too far away to walk from home.

Instead we were allocated a place at a school which is a 20 minute walk away, ironically it’s a far better school in academical terms and we are so happy with it, but thats not the point.

Other favourite schemes to gain that vital primary place include renting second properties near to the school, saying that cousins already in the school are actually siblings, lying about addresses (using grandparents etc).  But will anyone ever take any action over such applications?

I think not. The problem is that it is a middle class victimless crime. It is usually the ‘best’ schools in affluent areas, who hold top league table positions which parents lie for. You won’t find parents deceiving anyone for the sake of a mid table primary in a run down area. So it begs the question, how do you punish such a crime? Well, there’s talk of perjury and fines or excluding the child from the school without any prospect of them even getting onto the waiting list to gain a place normally. That would put the dampeners on any parent. However, without any sort of punishment it will continue. I have no idea how many people are prosecuted, but I doubt it is double figures.

So, at the start of a childs education, the very first lesson they learn is that lying can get you what you want. Nice!

When I was growing up, I didn’t listen to my parent’s music. Not because of some intentional rebellion on my part, but because the only album I ever remember them owning was Abba’s Waterloo. With hindsight, this is probably what led to my lifelong obsession with music.

I am chuffed that my 7 year old son loves music too, after all one of the great things about having kids is that you can teach them to hate the things that you hate right? So when he trundled off to his bedroom with my Muse and Placebo CDs I was quite the proud Mum. It was only when he returned downstairs two hours later singing “you come on just like special K,  just like I’ve swallowed half my stash..” that the gravity of the situation dawned on me.

Would you let your 7 year old loose with them?

I panicked, thinking that I could do a compilation for him of all the Placebo songs where the lyrics would be OK for a 7 year old boy. The list was as long as his gym shorts, but by now I was in hole because he kept singing the songs and to take away the CDs would only make him want them more.

So where to now? I don’t want to condemn him to a life of High School Musical or SClub 7, but when I flick through my Ipod, I realise that there is much that is probably inappropriate for a 7 year old. I have visions of him recounting Placebo lyrics at school and us getting a knock on the door from Social Services.

So now I have to trawl through all the songs on my Ipod and transfer the inoffensive ones to a playlist for the beanpole boy. It’s going to be a long task and to be honest, I am more than a little worried about what will end up on there, or rather all the good songs which won’t.