Great Truths for Little People
1. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person
4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato
5. Never trust a dog to watch your food

6. Never ask for anything that costs more than five pounds when your parents are working out their finances
7. Don't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower
8. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
9. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time
10.  Never bug a pregnant Mum
11. When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents
12. Never answer back a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching
14. Wear a hat when feeding seagulls
15. Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning
16. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac
17. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot
18.  Never dare your little brother to paint the family car
19. Don't ever be too full for dessert
20. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him
21. Never tell your Mum her diet's not working
22. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat
23. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mum when she's on the phone
24. Never do pranks at a police station
25. Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving
26. Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your Mum told you to do
27. Remember you're never too old to hold your Dad's hand
28. School lunches stick to the wall
29. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats